Goodbye...for a while

Well sadly to say things have not been working out with Buster and I...

My sister is on her way to get me and the girls and we will be moving to Waterford, I need to find a job asap as I do not have a vehicle..I will check my blog from time to time, and I will miss reading all of yours for a while...the only access I have to a computer is at her library until I get my own.

I love my husband and always will, he is a wonderful man and I wish him the best. I just feel that I bring out the bad side of him and he deserves someone who dosent, and hopefully in time, he will find that.

In the meantime, I am not looking. I am going to focus all of my time on working and taking care of my children.

Adios!

The Homefront

Well I would like to offer up my biggest halfmexican apologies for abandoning this blog latetly.

I have been taking care of 2 houses, and preparing to move hopefully by next weekend...

I wont bore you all with the duties that this incurs as im sure you are all well familiar with the cleaning, painting, packing, moving, boxing-up-your-shit-rituals.....


That being said..

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I would like to share photos of the place with you but I STILLL cannot find my damn download cord.....f***king aliens.

Im sure they're behind this.

Their behind every unexplainable occurence dont ya know???

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Wee One keeps begging me to sing the "Shoot the Marble" song with her....

I have no stinking clue as to what the hell song THAT is.

If anyone knows please help me.

I downloaded a bunch of christian kids songs for her last week and let her listen to them on the laptop...she was going back to the "Gods Army" song for 2hours....she knows how to use the mouse and click....at 3 years old....!!

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The skin below my left eye has been twitching for the last 2 days...WTH????

If anyone knows what causes this please do tell....

Its really starting to get annoying...
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Well I gotta go warm up a leftover taco for breakfast then im off to put away laundry, move a load of boxes to the new place, renew my library books, call and make a car payment and call and renew a script...

Till next time, if you know what the hell the "Shoot the marbles" song is, please inform me OR if you can tell me why my left eye is breakdancing all the time, that would be helpful too...

HMM Out!

What I like vs. What I dont like by HMM

Im sure every one of us has a special post he/she can put up with a list of likes and dislikes.

I dont usually bitch or gripe about too much. Or I try not too anyway cause nobody likes a whiner, and who really cares right??

I think a lot of you share common interests with me or you wouldnt be reading this right now...

So here goes


Shit I Like
1. Clean scents, ie: candles, fresh linens, new car, leather, victorias secret smells, new tires, a newborn baby.

2. Children whom pick up after themselves....I will leave that one open.

3. Husbands whom cook, and clean up after themselves.

4. Restrooms that do not smell like fresh urine, or hotly stenched feces. Thank you for flushing!

5. Seafood, a nice green salad and white wine. Preferably made by someone else.

6. My friends and family.

7. Living in a "free" country.

8. The smell of spring and fall air.

9. A hot steamy bubble bath with only lit candles in the room and an icy beer. (if youve never done this I highly recommend it, I promise you will feel fantastic afterward)

10. Diet Soda. Preferrably Diet Pepsi.

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Now i'm most certain most of you can relate to the above list, and those are just a few things a gal like HMM are fond of.

Next my friends is a list of things that I am not fond of.

1. Picking up unnameable amounts of dog shit out of the kennel at 7 am.

2. Wiping up dog piss out of the same kennell at 7am. Especially when I didnt want a dog in the first place.

3. Houses that smell like dog, or the dogs waste.

4. My download cord is missing for my camera. I am under the assumption that aliens have taken it since they are being blamed for every other mother loving thing in this world that we humans are to stupid to figure out or explain.

5. People who leave cigarette butts in my sink or in my empty cans....this is not only nasty people but very disrespectable as well...so the next time I come to your house, guess what Im gonna do :-)

6. Stinky litter boxes....this is why I dont have a cat. This among other reasons is why I prefer not to have animals in the house at all. Now dont get me wrong. Im not a hater. I just think anything will four legs belongs outside..

7. Finding hair in my food.

8. People who leave the toilet paper holder empty, or who just place the new roll on top of the holder.

9. Wiping halfmelted red jello off my walls, carpeting and sofa.

10. I saved the best for last....Cleaning up another adults vomit...



There.

Im done.

Now I've safely vented within the secure boundaries of the blogging world.

You wont hear me bitch about too much like ive said before, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do from time to time....right?

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On another note Buster and I were invited to an Adult Only Halloween party this Saturday night.

Believe it or not, and im embarrassed to confess....

Ive NEVER been to one.

We were thinking of dressing up will full masks and wigs and not speaking to ANYONE all night...

When we visit with peeps we thought that we would just shake our head yes and no to everything they say to us.

We had 4 people come to our house one year the week before Halloween. We let them in , they helped themselves to stuff out of our fridge. When we asked who they were they just shook thier heads "yes"

So were like
"Eric?"
"Kelly?"
asking all these names they kept shaking no..

we even took pictures.

they were all dressed like old men and had masks on with wigs hooked to them...

we never did know who those people were. Until about a month later.

But talk about freaky...

at first it was cute, then it was kinda like "um...get out of my house dude"

so yeah, were thinking of freaking people out if we goto this party.

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For shits and giggles I asked my kids a random question last night (Flippy gave me the idear)

Me: "Who wrote the book of love"

Eldest: "God"

Wee One: "Erin"

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Well I gotta go see if I can do something about the smell that lingers in my kitchen thanks to Shitty McStink....

Eloquence

Eloquence:

Eloquence (from Latin eloquentia) is fluent, forcible, elegant or persuasive speaking in public. It is primarily the power of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language, thereby producing conviction or persuasion. The term is also used for writing in a fluent style. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloquent

I just heard Donald Trump call Rosie a "degenerate" on the today show.....it made me think of the word above....

I remind myself of the ole Trump sometimes.

Whether this is good or bad, well lets just say were all entitled to our own opinions...

AND in MY opinion Rosie and T need to grow their asses up and quit slamming each other.

Life is to damn short....*snort snort*.

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My buddy ole pal FFG made reference to a certain family of japanese bugs on her ceiling.....

hence reminding me of a certain family of KANGAROO MICE living in the foam insulation of our breezeway in the new house.

I discovered this Saturday as I was leaving the house and saw the little black rodent run from one side of the room to the other and into a tiny hole....

Buster informed me last night as to the type of mice they are to which I replied

"Ya mean like the type that stand on their haunches upright while their little sickening pink front paws dangle in front of them?"

Yep.

I about passed out.

Heavenly Father, please help us rid our new home of the pesky little varmits before we move in. Oh Lord I will not be able to eat, sleep or urinate in that house until then, I will be eternally grateful In Jesus's precious name....Amen

Wish me luck on that one.

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On a brighter note, Wee One will have to put an abrupt halt to her nightly escapades into the depths of my chemical laden kitchen....

Oh sweet victory!

No more wondering if she will build toilet bowl cleaner bombs in the night, or soap slicks on the floor, or just plain letting her 3 year old self outside in the middle of the night.

Her new bedroom will be right next to mine. So I will hear her every little snore and sigh....

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I still cant find my Mother Freakin download cable for my camera.

Shit.

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Not sure if any of you caught the juicy episode of Desperate Housewives last night, and im not going to tell too much cause I dont want to piss anyone off who hasnt seen it already,

BUT

Lynettes mom scored her some "reefer" to take the edge off the chemo meds, and get her to eat, she was SO against smoking it, that momma made her a big batch of brownies.....

OMG even way back in my reefer toking days (havent touched the shit in AGES) I never saw anyone act like that!!! She acted like she was on some sort of PCP trip...!

It was quite entertaining when she showed up at her friends charades party though!

If you dont watch it you are missing true entertainment.....

I know...I need a life....

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I didnt make it to the class of 92 reunion Saturday.

I feel bad, but let me tell you I felt even shittier all day Saturday.

HMM pulled an all nighter at my buddys house.

I havent done that since I was like 18.

Entering your pre-geriatric years, pre-menopausal years, and after having 2 kids, make that 3 if you count Buster,

My little spick body just cant handle it well....

So I stayed home Saturday night, took a shower and put on warm jammies and a robe then taught my eldest to play the new Monopoly game I won from McDonalds.

To say the least we are addicted to it...

Not like the classic (boring) you get 2 MILLION every time you pass go and there are properties like Times Square, Disney Word, and The White House...

Definintely a "must play"

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Feedbag time....

I dont know what the hell im making for dinner.

Leave a suggestion if it strikes your fancy to do so.

All I can say right now is im starving, its 8 in the morning, and im too lazy to get off my ass and make some toast or sumptin.....

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Heres Wishing you all a Great Week,

Keep it rodent free,

and hopefully your dog dosent drag his ass across your carpeting. (Idont know where that came from but its good to wish people nice shit like that)

Vandalism in the night.

Yes.

We have been "hit' once again.

I made mention a while back about our nighttime vandalism problems...

You know, soap slicks, toilet bowl cleaner bombs and whatnot's.


Well, our little felon-in-training did it again.

This time I took a picture, and wouldn't you know it?

I cannot find my damned download cord.

I awoke in the night, well I was already awake but I got up and hit pause on the DVR before takin my last trip of the evening to the restroom, AND what did I behold!

An unusually large trail of white powder starting at the kitchen trash can and running through Wee Ones bedroom, over her favorite bouncy ball and sprinkled all over her toy box.

I am out of scouring powder, the flour is way up high and I know she cannot reach that, and the novelty can of borax soap on my bathroom sink is still full and intact.

So throughout the night I was just bothered as to what this white substance could be...

Its not sugar.

Its not "blow" I mean where in the heck would a 3 year old score at?

It remained a mystery until Buster remembered the "stress ball" the girls picked up at the neighborladys garage sale last week, she sold it to my kids for a dollar, a rip if you ask me cause it had a hole in it that the eldest kept patching up with electrical tape all week.

AND it was homemade with a balloon.

Well in the wee hours of the night Wee One got curious and allegedly peeled the electrical tape off the culprit, and had a party of her own once again.

I will break her of this habit someday, oh yes I will cause there is no way in hell I plan on spending my Grand parenting years traveling to the state penitentiary to visit my offspring. NO. WAY. IN HELL.

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The Sandusky Community High School Class of 1992 is holding their 15 year class reunion at the Lanes tomorrow night....Old Farts...hee hee.

Sike, Im only a year behind them, just had to throw that dart. Not like it would of landed anywhere, but had to just because.

I'm thinking of crashing the reunion tomorrow night.

I would like to chit chat for a few with Neurotic 1 and Shannon, and Lisa and a few others if I'm not busy.

We may be throwing some paint on the new crib this weekend.

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Here's a memory.

Well a confession of sorts.

You all know I have little shame.

And I like to share my shame with my blogging buddies....

Why?

Because I must may be slightly "touched" in that area of the brain.....

.....I tooted out loud once in third grade.......


well I said it...

Its finally out!

I feel so much better!

See that incident taught me 2 things.

1. Never fart aloud.
2. Never say "aaahhhh" if/when you do so.

I did not know this was an improper action until several, okay ALL the class said

"eeww, gross, NASTY"

after the fact.

Well being raised by a single Father teaches you a lot of things,

One of them is NOT farting etiquette....

I now tell my girls that ladies simply do not do it....

Dad never thought to tell me and my sister that.

It was a natural thing in our household to just "let go" if you had to.

Well HMM learned her lesson in third grade.

There you have it folks another memory from the cellar of my mind.

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GET YOUR FEEDBAG ON!

I simply cannot sign off without mention of food now can I???

Buster made his Signature Veggie and Sausage pasta sauce last night for dinner...

It was once again a huge hit in our house, and in my colon, hence the memory story above.

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Til next time...

Keep your house "stress ball free"

And pinch those cheeks really tight after a very flatulent meal!

Hasta Luego!

Shaky and a taky and a baky baky bakey!

Oh my word....


I just read FFG's blog and it had nothing to do with this but it brought back a memory, from the weblike depths of this halfmexican broads mind....

Her post said something about Shaky baking all the time....hence the title!



Once upon a time this young halfmexican chick worked in an old farts home. In the kitchen, doing dishes and whatnots...

We would have our occasional visitor, his name was Grady, he was about 172 years old and when he spoke, it was ALWAYS in rhyme.

I mean if the guy wanted coffee he would say

and I quote

"Gimme some coffee and I dont want toffee only want coffee no damn toffee"

see he had to rhyme no matter what he said.


even if it made no sense at all....

I would be gliding gracefully down the halls of the facility with my six foot stainless steel cart that I couldnt see over or around, and would out of nowhere hear Grady.

AND he always shouted his words.

AND usually he would clap in time with his rhyme...

I wonder what ever happend to Grady....Its kind of like where is Waldo....

Only where is Grady?

The beginning of this post is by no means a form of discrimination against old farts. I usually dont refer to them as that but at the time I called the place that because I was young dumb and 18. If you think you yourself are an old fart please seek therapy at your nearest mental department, ASAP. And if you are reading this tiny ass print there is no way in hell that you can be an old fart cause I can hardly see it myself.

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Not too much going on in this neck of the woods these days.

Buster took our oldest child all day Saturday, and they cleaned at the new place, while WeeOne and I did laundry at my Dads.

It will be so nice not to have to cart my dirty undergarments around the county anymore.

I vary my laundry assignments by using the local laundromat, my dads and my in laws place..I favor my dads above all because he has a clothseline that hold about 3 loads a a time. AND its free!

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I dont know if I ever mentioned this before but while im thinking of memories today there is one other that sticks out in my mind.


Not sure If ive ever shared it with you or not so sorry if I have but here goes anyway.

As most of you know FFG are pretty tight, well way back in the day...about 1992 to be precise, Buster and I were dating.

His parents went out of town for the weekend and he threw his usual bash.

WELL....HMM never had much experience in the drinking area at the time, so it goes without saying that what I will reveal here is quite shocking.

To make a long story short, Buster and I were upstairs "fooling around"

And I heard this song come on...I think it was Shoop by Salt n Pepa, I may be wrong but Im pretty sure it was.

Well I heard that song come on downstairs, so excited and not realizing what I was (or was not wearing) bolted full force down the stairs, when I got halfway down I stopped.....

cause you could see the living room from that spot and everyone could see you as well...

Needing to say what I had to I remember clearly I was wearing an oversized Michael Jordan tshirt, I put my hands on my waist and shouted

"I LOVE THIS SONG"

FFG smiled and said

"Uh Jill...you might wanna put your hands down"

See I was wearing NOTHING under that tshirt from the waist down, and when I went to put my hands on my waist to make my statement I lifted up the shirt and gave about a half a dozen people a peek at my...ahem....beaver......

yep....


memories.....

Ive got a ton...I will share time to time


Till next time research the depths of your minds...what is your most embarrassing memory?

Moving On.

Just some random stuff here...


Dont want to overload you all with too much info as in the last post....


Ah lets see...


I have been cleaning and packing, and packing and cleaning.

Exciting I know, dont want to thrill you all too much.

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My fingers are like moving superfast here I dunno why....

Since Im not smoking its like I cannot sit still....

AT ALL.

My fingers are making up for some missed excercise right now...


They are extra super happy.

The only way to stop from wanting to smoke is

A. Wearing my nicotine patch

B. Not thinking about it.

C. Staying physically busy....

gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

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Spoke to my doctors receptionist today as I have not heard anything from them about the what have yous of my labwork from the surgery.

She said "Maybe you should come in so doc can explain it to you"

Told nice receptionist that I do not have insurance anymore, then she put me on hold....


Appears that the top part of the cone shaped piece they took out of me still shows low grade abnormal cells....which as Ive been reading left untreated can cause cancer.

Sooooo...

I have to go in for another pap in 6 months.

In the mean time HMM is looking for health insurance.

Just in case.

Just in case I need major surgery.

Just in case I eventually have to get my whole hoo hoo removed.

Just in case this shit dosent go away.

Just in case I slip on one of Wee Ones soap slicks that she likes to create on the kitchen floor in the odd hours in the night when we are all asleep.

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The neighbor lady had a garage sale today.

My eldest went shopping.


With all the pennies she found on the bottom of my purse...

Here is a list of what she purchased:

1. a change purse that reads "Girls Rule"
2. Hippie sunglasses
3. A stuffed hot pink octopus on LSD
4. A pin that reads "Happy Birthday Jesus" (she bought that for me :-)

LIKE I DIDN'T SPEND ALL DAY CLEANING OUT HER CLOSET OF UNECESSARY SHIT SHE DOSENT ALREADY NEED.

But kids being kids I will let her be just that. I told her she got quite the deals...

being as she made 4 trips to my purse and 4 trips to neighborlady.

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Well I cant leave food out of my post.

That would be so unlike me you all may worry if I have mono or somethin like my pal Flip Flop Goddess...

I made red beans and rice for dinner and pork chops on the grill.

Buster and I have yet to eat, Ive been busy with my insane cleaning and packing, and he has been moving odds and ends to the new place with this cronies.

Thats all for now peeps, I apologize if this was too much info.