Near Death Experience

For those readers, which are most of you....

I have a tale...'

A tale of a little man named Buster whom almost died on our 11th anniversary...


See, I wasnt going to tell it until he was comfortable with it...

And after tellling several o friends, im assuming now he is.....



As the Big Guy reads this from time to time....



I forgot to tell that we almost lost Buster on our Anniversary night.



Not shitting you;;;;at all!


I was doing dishes at my Dad and stepmoms place after our Anniversary dinner....


allbymyself


and I heard

"whout whut whut whut goooooo!"

coming from beyond my dads back steps.


I looked out and Buster was all bent over in a half fetal position, smiling but coughing.


Too many Marlboros??

Too much gravy???


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Buster was choking.


\
For real.


He took a hit of stepmommmas turkey (he swears its always dry) and was actually


CHOKING TO DEATH

I went out and began the only thing that HMM knew how to do...


I started windmill punching him in the back!!!

And yelled "dad dad busters choking please help for real"


Then good ole Jim came out Philly cigar and all dangling outta his mouth and said


"hicklick hicklick, hicklick manuever...havent done this in years so stand back!!"
with his little manstance and his houserobe on with the cigar ash 2miles long....he was gonna save Buster!

I kept swatting him in the back with allthe strenght I could muster. and by the time dad got there.

Buster was fine.

I saved his life by beating the piss out of him.

He knows it.

Dad knows it....

So now im wondering.....WTH did I do???

Do Ihave an obsession with dirty socks, Ice cream bowls and a snoring zombie at nite???


Your damn straigt I do, I love that man.

No matter how much poultry he chokes on, how many socks he leaves me or the turmoulous snoring...I took a vow with that man 11 years ago


Little did i know what i got myslelf into, but I did before God and everyone!!! HAllejulia!!!

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On a different note


My friends female dog continues to hump my male puppy...

Is she lesbian?

Is she "bi"

Is she just a dumb freaking bitch (i mean that in the female dog way)

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Manager was yelling at Asst Manager today


thought she was kidding


then i realized she werent..

BEEYOTCH! u better not yelll at HMM the same way cuz I wont take that shit from no one especially for a min wage job

the first timeshe does will be the last...i swear

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went to visit Baby Devins grave Saturday

me myself a beer and his aunt my goo d friend , we cried

theres not even a headstone yet

i reassured her that honey is in Heaven being well taken care of, and so happy

it just hurts to stand over his earthly remains

my religion does not believe in that

his little soul has gone off to heaven

and it was out of respect that we stood there that day in his memory

Love you Devin, see you again another day sweetpea

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tomorrow I have very exciting things to post about my surgery prep

dont want to get yall to excited


you gotta wait


it has to do with an enema and iodine wash...I know your jealous!!