Friday, October 12, 2007

Vandalism in the night.


We have been "hit' once again.

I made mention a while back about our nighttime vandalism problems...

You know, soap slicks, toilet bowl cleaner bombs and whatnot's.

Well, our little felon-in-training did it again.

This time I took a picture, and wouldn't you know it?

I cannot find my damned download cord.

I awoke in the night, well I was already awake but I got up and hit pause on the DVR before takin my last trip of the evening to the restroom, AND what did I behold!

An unusually large trail of white powder starting at the kitchen trash can and running through Wee Ones bedroom, over her favorite bouncy ball and sprinkled all over her toy box.

I am out of scouring powder, the flour is way up high and I know she cannot reach that, and the novelty can of borax soap on my bathroom sink is still full and intact.

So throughout the night I was just bothered as to what this white substance could be...

Its not sugar.

Its not "blow" I mean where in the heck would a 3 year old score at?

It remained a mystery until Buster remembered the "stress ball" the girls picked up at the neighborladys garage sale last week, she sold it to my kids for a dollar, a rip if you ask me cause it had a hole in it that the eldest kept patching up with electrical tape all week.

AND it was homemade with a balloon.

Well in the wee hours of the night Wee One got curious and allegedly peeled the electrical tape off the culprit, and had a party of her own once again.

I will break her of this habit someday, oh yes I will cause there is no way in hell I plan on spending my Grand parenting years traveling to the state penitentiary to visit my offspring. NO. WAY. IN HELL.


The Sandusky Community High School Class of 1992 is holding their 15 year class reunion at the Lanes tomorrow night....Old Farts...hee hee.

Sike, Im only a year behind them, just had to throw that dart. Not like it would of landed anywhere, but had to just because.

I'm thinking of crashing the reunion tomorrow night.

I would like to chit chat for a few with Neurotic 1 and Shannon, and Lisa and a few others if I'm not busy.

We may be throwing some paint on the new crib this weekend.


Here's a memory.

Well a confession of sorts.

You all know I have little shame.

And I like to share my shame with my blogging buddies....


Because I must may be slightly "touched" in that area of the brain.....

.....I tooted out loud once in third grade.......

well I said it...

Its finally out!

I feel so much better!

See that incident taught me 2 things.

1. Never fart aloud.
2. Never say "aaahhhh" if/when you do so.

I did not know this was an improper action until several, okay ALL the class said

"eeww, gross, NASTY"

after the fact.

Well being raised by a single Father teaches you a lot of things,

One of them is NOT farting etiquette....

I now tell my girls that ladies simply do not do it....

Dad never thought to tell me and my sister that.

It was a natural thing in our household to just "let go" if you had to.

Well HMM learned her lesson in third grade.

There you have it folks another memory from the cellar of my mind.



I simply cannot sign off without mention of food now can I???

Buster made his Signature Veggie and Sausage pasta sauce last night for dinner...

It was once again a huge hit in our house, and in my colon, hence the memory story above.


Til next time...

Keep your house "stress ball free"

And pinch those cheeks really tight after a very flatulent meal!

Hasta Luego!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Shaky and a taky and a baky baky bakey!

Oh my word....

I just read FFG's blog and it had nothing to do with this but it brought back a memory, from the weblike depths of this halfmexican broads mind....

Her post said something about Shaky baking all the time....hence the title!

Once upon a time this young halfmexican chick worked in an old farts home. In the kitchen, doing dishes and whatnots...

We would have our occasional visitor, his name was Grady, he was about 172 years old and when he spoke, it was ALWAYS in rhyme.

I mean if the guy wanted coffee he would say

and I quote

"Gimme some coffee and I dont want toffee only want coffee no damn toffee"

see he had to rhyme no matter what he said.

even if it made no sense at all....

I would be gliding gracefully down the halls of the facility with my six foot stainless steel cart that I couldnt see over or around, and would out of nowhere hear Grady.

AND he always shouted his words.

AND usually he would clap in time with his rhyme...

I wonder what ever happend to Grady....Its kind of like where is Waldo....

Only where is Grady?

The beginning of this post is by no means a form of discrimination against old farts. I usually dont refer to them as that but at the time I called the place that because I was young dumb and 18. If you think you yourself are an old fart please seek therapy at your nearest mental department, ASAP. And if you are reading this tiny ass print there is no way in hell that you can be an old fart cause I can hardly see it myself.


Not too much going on in this neck of the woods these days.

Buster took our oldest child all day Saturday, and they cleaned at the new place, while WeeOne and I did laundry at my Dads.

It will be so nice not to have to cart my dirty undergarments around the county anymore.

I vary my laundry assignments by using the local laundromat, my dads and my in laws place..I favor my dads above all because he has a clothseline that hold about 3 loads a a time. AND its free!


I dont know if I ever mentioned this before but while im thinking of memories today there is one other that sticks out in my mind.

Not sure If ive ever shared it with you or not so sorry if I have but here goes anyway.

As most of you know FFG are pretty tight, well way back in the day...about 1992 to be precise, Buster and I were dating.

His parents went out of town for the weekend and he threw his usual bash.

WELL....HMM never had much experience in the drinking area at the time, so it goes without saying that what I will reveal here is quite shocking.

To make a long story short, Buster and I were upstairs "fooling around"

And I heard this song come on...I think it was Shoop by Salt n Pepa, I may be wrong but Im pretty sure it was.

Well I heard that song come on downstairs, so excited and not realizing what I was (or was not wearing) bolted full force down the stairs, when I got halfway down I stopped.....

cause you could see the living room from that spot and everyone could see you as well...

Needing to say what I had to I remember clearly I was wearing an oversized Michael Jordan tshirt, I put my hands on my waist and shouted


FFG smiled and said

"Uh might wanna put your hands down"

See I was wearing NOTHING under that tshirt from the waist down, and when I went to put my hands on my waist to make my statement I lifted up the shirt and gave about a half a dozen people a peek at my...ahem....beaver......



Ive got a ton...I will share time to time

Till next time research the depths of your minds...what is your most embarrassing memory?