Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What I like vs. What I dont like by HMM

Im sure every one of us has a special post he/she can put up with a list of likes and dislikes.

I dont usually bitch or gripe about too much. Or I try not too anyway cause nobody likes a whiner, and who really cares right??

I think a lot of you share common interests with me or you wouldnt be reading this right now...

So here goes


Shit I Like
1. Clean scents, ie: candles, fresh linens, new car, leather, victorias secret smells, new tires, a newborn baby.

2. Children whom pick up after themselves....I will leave that one open.

3. Husbands whom cook, and clean up after themselves.

4. Restrooms that do not smell like fresh urine, or hotly stenched feces. Thank you for flushing!

5. Seafood, a nice green salad and white wine. Preferably made by someone else.

6. My friends and family.

7. Living in a "free" country.

8. The smell of spring and fall air.

9. A hot steamy bubble bath with only lit candles in the room and an icy beer. (if youve never done this I highly recommend it, I promise you will feel fantastic afterward)

10. Diet Soda. Preferrably Diet Pepsi.

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Now i'm most certain most of you can relate to the above list, and those are just a few things a gal like HMM are fond of.

Next my friends is a list of things that I am not fond of.

1. Picking up unnameable amounts of dog shit out of the kennel at 7 am.

2. Wiping up dog piss out of the same kennell at 7am. Especially when I didnt want a dog in the first place.

3. Houses that smell like dog, or the dogs waste.

4. My download cord is missing for my camera. I am under the assumption that aliens have taken it since they are being blamed for every other mother loving thing in this world that we humans are to stupid to figure out or explain.

5. People who leave cigarette butts in my sink or in my empty cans....this is not only nasty people but very disrespectable as well...so the next time I come to your house, guess what Im gonna do :-)

6. Stinky litter boxes....this is why I dont have a cat. This among other reasons is why I prefer not to have animals in the house at all. Now dont get me wrong. Im not a hater. I just think anything will four legs belongs outside..

7. Finding hair in my food.

8. People who leave the toilet paper holder empty, or who just place the new roll on top of the holder.

9. Wiping halfmelted red jello off my walls, carpeting and sofa.

10. I saved the best for last....Cleaning up another adults vomit...



There.

Im done.

Now I've safely vented within the secure boundaries of the blogging world.

You wont hear me bitch about too much like ive said before, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do from time to time....right?

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On another note Buster and I were invited to an Adult Only Halloween party this Saturday night.

Believe it or not, and im embarrassed to confess....

Ive NEVER been to one.

We were thinking of dressing up will full masks and wigs and not speaking to ANYONE all night...

When we visit with peeps we thought that we would just shake our head yes and no to everything they say to us.

We had 4 people come to our house one year the week before Halloween. We let them in , they helped themselves to stuff out of our fridge. When we asked who they were they just shook thier heads "yes"

So were like
"Eric?"
"Kelly?"
asking all these names they kept shaking no..

we even took pictures.

they were all dressed like old men and had masks on with wigs hooked to them...

we never did know who those people were. Until about a month later.

But talk about freaky...

at first it was cute, then it was kinda like "um...get out of my house dude"

so yeah, were thinking of freaking people out if we goto this party.

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For shits and giggles I asked my kids a random question last night (Flippy gave me the idear)

Me: "Who wrote the book of love"

Eldest: "God"

Wee One: "Erin"

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Well I gotta go see if I can do something about the smell that lingers in my kitchen thanks to Shitty McStink....

Monday, October 15, 2007

Eloquence

Eloquence:

Eloquence (from Latin eloquentia) is fluent, forcible, elegant or persuasive speaking in public. It is primarily the power of expressing strong emotions in striking and appropriate language, thereby producing conviction or persuasion. The term is also used for writing in a fluent style. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloquent

I just heard Donald Trump call Rosie a "degenerate" on the today show.....it made me think of the word above....

I remind myself of the ole Trump sometimes.

Whether this is good or bad, well lets just say were all entitled to our own opinions...

AND in MY opinion Rosie and T need to grow their asses up and quit slamming each other.

Life is to damn short....*snort snort*.

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My buddy ole pal FFG made reference to a certain family of japanese bugs on her ceiling.....

hence reminding me of a certain family of KANGAROO MICE living in the foam insulation of our breezeway in the new house.

I discovered this Saturday as I was leaving the house and saw the little black rodent run from one side of the room to the other and into a tiny hole....

Buster informed me last night as to the type of mice they are to which I replied

"Ya mean like the type that stand on their haunches upright while their little sickening pink front paws dangle in front of them?"

Yep.

I about passed out.

Heavenly Father, please help us rid our new home of the pesky little varmits before we move in. Oh Lord I will not be able to eat, sleep or urinate in that house until then, I will be eternally grateful In Jesus's precious name....Amen

Wish me luck on that one.

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On a brighter note, Wee One will have to put an abrupt halt to her nightly escapades into the depths of my chemical laden kitchen....

Oh sweet victory!

No more wondering if she will build toilet bowl cleaner bombs in the night, or soap slicks on the floor, or just plain letting her 3 year old self outside in the middle of the night.

Her new bedroom will be right next to mine. So I will hear her every little snore and sigh....

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I still cant find my Mother Freakin download cable for my camera.

Shit.

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Not sure if any of you caught the juicy episode of Desperate Housewives last night, and im not going to tell too much cause I dont want to piss anyone off who hasnt seen it already,

BUT

Lynettes mom scored her some "reefer" to take the edge off the chemo meds, and get her to eat, she was SO against smoking it, that momma made her a big batch of brownies.....

OMG even way back in my reefer toking days (havent touched the shit in AGES) I never saw anyone act like that!!! She acted like she was on some sort of PCP trip...!

It was quite entertaining when she showed up at her friends charades party though!

If you dont watch it you are missing true entertainment.....

I know...I need a life....

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I didnt make it to the class of 92 reunion Saturday.

I feel bad, but let me tell you I felt even shittier all day Saturday.

HMM pulled an all nighter at my buddys house.

I havent done that since I was like 18.

Entering your pre-geriatric years, pre-menopausal years, and after having 2 kids, make that 3 if you count Buster,

My little spick body just cant handle it well....

So I stayed home Saturday night, took a shower and put on warm jammies and a robe then taught my eldest to play the new Monopoly game I won from McDonalds.

To say the least we are addicted to it...

Not like the classic (boring) you get 2 MILLION every time you pass go and there are properties like Times Square, Disney Word, and The White House...

Definintely a "must play"

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Feedbag time....

I dont know what the hell im making for dinner.

Leave a suggestion if it strikes your fancy to do so.

All I can say right now is im starving, its 8 in the morning, and im too lazy to get off my ass and make some toast or sumptin.....

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Heres Wishing you all a Great Week,

Keep it rodent free,

and hopefully your dog dosent drag his ass across your carpeting. (Idont know where that came from but its good to wish people nice shit like that)