He ate me!

Heres the 411 on the Anniversary....


it was so-so.

AND get your damn mind outta the gutter about my title. Got your attention didnt it...??

You wants for me to tell ya dontchya?

A nice dinner was had by all. We got gifts from our parents and a card with cash in it from a family friend.

After our feast we were presented with


dadadada!!! No sorry I have no pic...HMM forgot her cam cam....tsk tsk..

A nice cake that read like dis:

Happy Anniversary Dan and Jill, September 14th 1996...my dad thought the cake was expired I had to explain that part to him....

ANYWAY

I sliced it up and just happened to give Buster a perfect piece (hee hee) that had nothing on it but my name....I handed it to him (no one heard this) and told him to "eat me" ....and of course he did....twas yummy too.

He bought me a box of wine as my anniversary gift.

Its kind of a joke between us...to make the story short on one of our first aniversaires we were very broke, as most newlyweds, and couples of 11 years are. And brought home a box of wine after work. You know one with the tap on the bottom of the box....

Yep nuttin but the best for HMM!!!

So you see every year he "surprises" me with a nice fancy box o wine.

We usually drink it out of our original chapagne glasses that we drank from on our wedding day, but the Butler hasnt unpacked that box yet.....

Or wait...maybe the maid forgot to.

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Upon sitting in the parking lot of Walmart, waiting for Buster to retrieve my surprise box o wine...the eldest blurted this out:

"North Whore"

to which I replied a ghastly

"WHAT!!!"

She said "Right there on that truck....North Whore"

I craned my hafmexican neck to get a glimpse...afraid of what I might see....

Thinking I was gonna spot a naked chick sporting a Santa hat or sumptin.....

The writing on this van (damn I wish I didnt forget the cam cam last night) was written"

"North hore Landscaping Inc."


The "s" was missing....

Thats my girl..she never misses a beat....

A real chip off the ole HMM block.

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A special thanks to Just A Mom (see far right for the link, im lazy like that, and stupid) for the award she threw out to me the other day...

I feel like a real Boob cause the first time I read her post I totally missed it....

It was the night the Friend and I drank lots o beer....(see one of the recent posts below)

My drunken eyes musta missed it.

But at least I caught it the next day *pats on the back*

Jaye your'e one of the sweetest blogging buddies I have on here. You are one of the most caring people, your thoughts, prayers and concern for me are...priceless!!!

If you havent checked her sight out already, Do it! Cause I said and iffen ya dont im gonna hunt you down and shove a burrito in your butt!!

Just kidding. But wouldnt that be interesting though....Id definitely remember the cam cam for that one!!

Take care Amigos!!

Have a Great Weekend!

FINALLY its Freaking Friday!

A few things for ya this lovely Friday afternoon.

First of all its really not that loveley, its raining and 59 out, im dead tired, got sent home early from work cause it was slow, and dammit my cervix hurts!!!

Now that im done griping like a stupid Boob...

here we go

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Today marks my Eleventh wedding Anniversary.

Dear Buster....

I love you with all my heart and soul. I love the children you squirted into me, and even the way you snore. I especially like and find entertaining the conversations you hold with yourself in your sleep.
You were a very brave boy thirteen years ago when you decided to ask me to marry you. Little did you know what you were getting yourself in to. A new crazy sometimes crude father in law, a bitchy step mother in law who is a hypocondriac, a moronic felon brother in law who wanders aimlessly around Texas "livin on the fat of the land".
Plus a new bride that can change moods in zero to sixty.
I dont even mind picking up the endless popcans, socks, ice cream bar wrappers, dirty clothes, and used kleenex that you a re constantly leaving by the bed. Not to mention the shit you leave infront of the couch, but thats a whole nother blog so I wont even go there.
Thanks for putting up with my ass since 1991, holding my hand through 2 births, and one miscarriage. Weve had our good times and our bad.
And weve made it this far. It has been challenging to say the least, and I hope we have eternity together, because Im a crazy bitch like that. I love you.

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Now that the mushy shit is out of the way...lets see if Buster even remembers today. I will let you know tomorrow.

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My three year old came running into the house last night as I was making a salad and through tears said to me

"Daddy told me to get my little ASS in the house"

It was so cute, funny and pathetic at the same time...!!

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My dog got into the bathroom garbage yesterday morning....

yep, nothing says good morning like used pantiliners and toilet paper rolls chewed up and strewn about throuout the house at 9 am....twas lovely.

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Me and my friend Brandi stayed up real late last night after the kids went to bed and drank LOTS O BEER :-)

We dont get to do that very often....

oh yeah and we listened to Reo Speedwagon over and over cause were nerds like that...

THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER AND OVER!

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Well Im gonna go get out of this uniform, put on something comfy and snooze next to the little one til the oldest gets off the bus. I gotta take a painkiller or sumptin first as im having a major pain in the cervical region.

Then its off to Jim and Sues for our "Anniversary Dinner" I bought all the stuff and my stepmom is making me turkey, baked sweet potatoes, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn on the cob, rolls and cranberry sauce...cause well thats what I wanted!!

Stay tuned to see if Buster remembers what the hell he is even at the inlaws for tonight...this should be interesting!!!

HMM OUT!

Shit on a Shingle

I just like the sound of that title...

Actually its a pretty damn good supper....

My stepmom takes ground beef and browns it with onion, then makes a milk gravy within it with salt and pepper, and serves it over mashed potatoes...yum...

comfort food.

How do you make shit on a shingle?? or do u call it something else??

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I answered the phone at my job yesterday, it was the cordless laying right next to my register and no one would answer it...

Little did I know that this was a priveledge "only for managers"...

The asst. mgr on duty informed me of this in a snoblike way to shich I replied, and im NOT kidding...

"If you dont want anyone else answering it then dont leave it lying around"

of course I said it with a smile on my face and a hint of sarcasm...I will call this manager Tinyeyes as she has tiny eyes, and is one of the 4 women managers I have.

And she is known to be the "bitch" but I try not to let her bother me.

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Buster was talking in his sleep the other night and said aloud...

"There you go snow shoes and all"

I laughed and tapped him on the shoulder as I was wide awake, and asked him what he was dreaming of...and he said (still in dreamstate)

"Snowshoes snowshoes, you all have them"

so I asked AGAIN...

he started giggling REALLY hard and was still sleeping and talking at the same time...

he said "you women dont care if the snows up to your ass you'll still run snowshoes and all to get to where your going."

I then just realized there was no way I could get him up to talk about his dream, and I guess his explanation was good enough!!

Surgery on Wednesday

Well I went back to the doc today for my follow up on the biopsy...

Not what I was hoping to hear.

I have to have the lower half of my cervix removed the "abnormalties", and they are also going to perform a uterine biopsy at that time...just to check on that part also. Which scares me but I guess they are doing it as a precaution....yep just like the colspocopy was a Precaution...

Ive been reading up on this procedure, and accroding to the doctor it is 90 to 95 percent effective....so im hoping and praying that it will be.

I only have insurance til the end of the month, so hopefully this will take care of my problem..

My SIL has a really good friend that had this done and it took care of her....

At some point and time in the past I had an infection that was more than likely not treated as it had no symptoms, welll theyre thinking this caused the abnormal cells...

Hopefully after next Wednesday I will be harvesting a cervix full of healthy cells!

The only part I dont like is going under anesthesia...but it is just a minor surgery and after an hour of recovery I can go home...cant go back to work for 3 days, no heavy lifting and no whoopie for a month...not sure Big Buster will like that too well but theres not much I can do about it...
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Work went well today....I only fu***ed up a handful of times so that has decreased my "funny mishaps"...

Other than that things have bee uneventful around here...

Buster is laid off for the week, so he is out and about....working on his aunts furnace and visiting his grandparents I think.

Just thought I would keep you all posted on my crotchal issues.....

Im gonna take a siesta now!!

Light Tomato

Well Tuesday I started my new job at Burger King....


I NEVER knew that there is so much to learn.

I have always worked in offices, well I waited tables in high school, but thats a whole other ball of wax.

I feel bad cause I used to stereotype people that worked in places like that, like that only high school dropouts and dopes worked in fast food joints.

But foolish pride being what it is, made me realize that at job is a job. ANY job.

Take for instance Buster...he is a lisenced plumber aka...."Turd Chaser" "Toilet Whiz" you know...but actually his job is very important. AND he rarely ever deals with chasing turds as that nifty position is usually held for apprentices.

I dont really want a 9 to 5 job, and this works out well as it is 12 to 15 hours a week, and I strictly put on my application NO nights and weekends. Although I did help out this weekend cause they had someone quit on them.

I felt like a total horses ass today because I tried to make a shake for the first time and being the dope I am whirled ice cream all over me the machine and my co-worker....she thought it was funny.

And I know I am pissing the people off in the kitchen because I am constantly ringing up stuff on the register then deleting it...they probably party hardy when I leave!!!

Today I rung up a burger and put "Light tomato" on the screen....the guy cooking got a good laugh. He didnt know whether to de-seed the tomato or slice it in half....I MEANT to put "light mayo" and the buttons being as close as they are well...you know.

Im glad I can make them all laugh at me but at the same time I feel like a real Butthead!!

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I came home from work today and my 3 year old was running around in a wet tshirt and NOTHING else!!!

Buster was lounging and eating Doritos and drinking root beer and pretty much let the kids runamuck the whole time I was gone...

I asked him why his daughter was half naked like an indian running around and he wasnt doing anything about it...

I guess she tried giving the puppy a bath, and the whole bathroom and herself at the same time...im just hoping this little event didnt take place in the toilet, as that is the only source of water she can reach.

I asked the oldest if Daddy had fed them while I was gone and she replied "Sure we had Doritos and pop".....men...you cant live with em and ya cant kill em!!

So I gave Little Bean a bath, and made them some pot pies, cause you know thats HMM's house specialty.
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Til next time....keep your tomatoes heavy, and pray that your kid dosent bathe your dog in the toilet!!

Hasta Luego!!!