Thursday, May 17, 2007

4 days and counting, and Wally World

Well Day #4 on my low carb diet....I had a nightmare, yes again. I dreamt I ate Lasagna...I was SOOOO dissapointed in myself, but was so relieved when I woke up it was a dream and that I really DIDNT eat the noodles...phew!!! That was a close one.

Im not a big sugarholic, not by far. But today I got a sweet tooth and the cookies in the cupboard were whispering, hell no they were actually shouting my name.

So I took my fat squat little ass to the local Wally World today and bought some Adkins cookie dough chocolate bars, and dark chocolate royale shakes. Nothing says chocolate like fake chemicals and sugar substitutes. But at least it worked. I took one bite of the bar and wrapped the rest up for another crave attack...strange I never crave sugar. Unless my body is being deprived of it and I cant fool myself no matter how I try. I will weigh myself tomorrow and see what a difference I made. One time on this diet I lost 8 pounds in 5 days. The trick is to limit your carbs even after your inital 14 day induction phase...then gradually bring them back limiting your self to one or two grainy starches. I particularly like whole wheat tortillas theyre low in carbs, fat and calories AND taste better for tacos.

We strangely got followed by a manager at the store that gave my kids cookies from the bakery WITH GLOBS OF FROSTING on top. I mean he went right back there behind the bakery counter and just helped nice as he was he was a little irratating and wouldnt quit talking or wouldnt leave us alone either...

My Kid:"Thank You for da cookie"
Weird Managerguy:"your welcome, have a nice day"
My Kid: "Ok"
Weird Managerguy:"Have a nice night"
My Kid: no reply
Weird Managerguy: "Have a nice weekend. Ihope it dosent rain because its really hard for me to cut my grass with all the rain weve been getting and its pretty tall and hard to manage when its like that.....blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda

Needless to say the dude followed (I swear) to the cheese section and bombarded The Sample Lady for mini muffins and chocolate milk. He then brought those to my daughter, and asked if I wanted any. I told him no that I wa trying to diet and he had the nerve to tell me that "Maybe if you eat right you wouldnt be so short"

Whatever Man...get a life. We lost him as we were making a B Line for the shoe aisles....

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Diet Shmiet...And other Smack!!

So started my low carb diet yesterday..I guess you can call it Adkins,or similar to. The only carbs I ingested was 8 ounces diet cranberry juice, for the bladder infection that i think I have, 4 light beers (I kno I know but it was only 12 carbs total) and some green beans.

On the plus side I had NO bread, pasta etc..I am trying to avoid processed starchy foods. The initail "Induction" phase is meant to stay under 20 grams of carbs per day, and the carbs you do eat should come from vegetables...they dont suggest you introducing fruit or any grains until after the 14 day induction phase.

I did this diet once after my first was born and lost thirty pounds. the firs 10 to 15 came off in the first two "Induction" weeks...after that I only ate carbs in moderation and kept to a diet of fruits vegetables and lean meats. I stayed at a steady weight that I was happy with for two or three years...then I dont know what the hell happened.

Ive been trying to fit exercise into my daily regime and I am just so not into it, I like to walk and ride my bike but when it comes to intense cardio and calisthenics im am so not into it...

I tried and did the first day of the "4 weeks to a bikini body" in the recent Shape magazine yesterday, and let me tell you today my ass and hamstrings are on fire!! but thats a good thing right?? I worked my triceps out as well but they dont hurt..for some reason my arms are pretty well sculpted. Even my brother in Texas mentioned that to me a few weeks ago. The conversation went some thing like this...

Me: "I need to lose weight"
Him: "Not really, when I hugged you at Christmas you were suprisingly had a hard body. It just looks fat cause your short, but actually you have more muscle than the average girl"

Thanks man. I think.

Well I better run...I think today I will have some fried eggs and turkey sausage for toast, no potatoes. Wish me luck...and encouragement I really need it.

I tried on clothes al Wally World over the weekend. Number one let me just say incase youre not aware Wally World clothing SUCKS! I was looking for a decent tshirt or tank top all of which were ill fitting and out of shape and grotesque...AND I look like a cow right now so that didnt help!!

I explained to Buster that we need to take a cruise on down to Port Huron so I can hit Aeropostale and American Eagle, but apparently I need to collect a lot more pop/beer cans to raise gas money for the trip...

I think I make park my fat little half mexican ass in front of the local Wally World withsome really dark big sunglasses on, with an accorrdian and a bucket for donations. If the fact that I cant play a tune doesnt reach in and grab anyones pity, maybe looking like im blind will...Whose with me on this...I should be able to raise sufficient gas funds in about 8 to sixteen hours...the way I figure it...

Adios Amigos!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Concert Madness

Went to a concert with Buster's parents Friday night..It was a Country Concert at Caro High School. The dude performing was named Johnny Counterfeit. You can check him out here:

Anyways it was a hoot! Most in attendance were elderly people and Developmentally Disabled people. Dont get me wrong when I tell you about this because I love me some Disabled people, they are special, but so damn Funny! I think the reason it was as fun as I thought it was is because of all those people sitting around us....

I sooo wish I could be more like them the performer would tell jokes and they would laugh their asses off, even if it really wasnt funny. And im pretty sure they didnt even understand some of the jokes.

For Example:
"What is the best form of birth control"

punchline: "Nudity"

OH! they were laughing their asses off rolling on the floor!

During intermission a young girl with Downs Syndrome (bless her heart) came up to me and said "I'm 17"...I said "Oh thats really old do you think I am?" and she thought long and hard then finally said "Youre 17 too!" I told her no, but Thanks anyway.

All in all it was a good night. Even though there were 6 people that went and I was stuck in the back of a mini an WITHOUT a third row seat..good thing it was only a half hour ride!