Happy Trails

My friend and I took the children on a little field trip to the park last night.

Upon arriving at the park, Halfmexican Mama was stricken with severe gastrointestinal pain.


So.


You probably already guessed it....


I had to to....


#3.....


yep....


IN THE PORTA POTTY!!!

It has always a nightmare of mine...I detest those things....

I dont have to go into detail to tell you why.

But the pain was so severe, I had sprint my way to that makeshift craphouse......

And......OMG!


IT was just cleaned......NEVER USED!!!!!

I was sooooo excited I nearly lost my stool right then and there......Oh and I just happened to have a copy of a book I was reading which came in really handy during my "stay".

Im sure I looked really fine to those studly basketball players who saw me emerge from the craphouse with a book in hand......sheesh....who do I have to impress anyway???



Poor Little Bean about had her own accident....disappeared for a minute so I hollered out for her...we were the only ones on the play side of the park, so I was sure she didnt go far...


then I heard "MAMA"....coming from behind a tree....then....I heard.....two words that I REALLY didnt want to hear...



"I PEE"


"Yes I know your behind the tree baby come on out".......

and she did...

I so wish I had the cam last night...she came out from behind the tree...in broad daylight, in the middle of a public park naked from the waist down....

YEP....she's definitely her mothers child.

So we had to throw her panties away in the trash can right next to the "pee tree" cause they were soaked and there was no way I was carrying them home...her shorts were still dry though....for some reason she still hasnt grasped the concept that the world is not your toilet...

Neither has her mother!
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Does anyone know what happened to the Ellen Degeneres show??? That was like my favorite show.....

Everyday I watched or recorded it....I could ALWAYS count on her to make me chuckle....I have Dish network so keep that in mind....

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My puppy is trying to chew his way out of a metal cage right now....

Funny thing is I actually think he is making progress...

God Speed Little Dog..Godspeed!!

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Im going to wrap this up for today cause im a hungry hoe...and I want coffee too..and I have a lot on my plate for today...

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Next time you eat a taco....THINK OF ME!!!

Peace Out

Veggie Tales...in a twisted sort of way.

Who knew that you could freeze tomatoes???



Betchya didnt!



I didnt.


Til my Dad told me....


See right now...as most of you know there is an over abundancy of these darn things around here...

EVERYONE and I do mean everyone has been shoving them off on us....

We eat em on BLT's, use em in sauces, use em in goulash......

I feel like that fella on Forrest Gump...you know the one who names off all the various ways to cook shrimp...well you have to see the movie to know what Im talking about...

Here are my kids harvesting tomatoes in the dark.....

Its a Michigan tradition you know.....

The parents go in the house and get hammered and send the kids out, armed with little flashlights to harvest tomatoes at night....

JOKING, if you believed me you're either gernerously retarded or smoking crack :-)


Lets see...what else....


OH I know....

remember how I was telling you all of my husbands god given talent of bringing me the best gifts a girl could ever ask for????

You know. Dead ladys shirt etcetera etcetera....

Well I made mention of a "penile" shaped vegetable....

Im not joking...I took a pic of it last night finally....

with my good friend who shall remain nameless due to sheer embarrassment, posing with the same vegetabe......

have a looksee...























And I thought I had hoo hoo problems!!

Sheesh!


Im thinking of taking some photography courses after taking this shot....see the Lighting could have been better....AND she should have held the....ahem member a bit lower...but the above will suffice...

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I was sore after my doctor took the piece of you know what out of my you know what yesterday....

then they had the nerve to show me the piece of "you know what" in a little jar of liquid...

ugh!!

Now all there is to do is wait...and hope and pray that the test resulsts prove normal....

Did you know it takes 7 to 10 days to test a piece of meat about the size of half of my pinky nail???

I thought those medical peeps were smarter than that....shows what I get for thinking...again.

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My kids are eating turkey pot pies on the couch right now....

Nothing but the best for my offspring....

Ocassionally...I will play June Cleaver and give them carrot sticks, and celery and tofu....

well all but the tofu, but It sounded healthy didnt it???

Pot pies are damn good....and all 4 food groups are represented...

1.ya got your meat (processed water added turkey type meat)

2. ya got your veggies...peas, carrots and potatoes...

3. Ya got your grain ...the crust.

4. and ya got your dairy...im sure they used some type of milk in that gravy, or to make that crust....

And as far as im concerned they are one of the best inventions in the world...especially now that they're microwaveable...

There.

Ive just glorified a freking pot pie....

Okay well im gonna go see if I can find a life now.....

Til next time take care Chicas and Chicos
(hey, I never claimed to be full mexican so work with me on my Spanish type closing statements)

This is how we do it!

Here are some recent happenings from yesterdays "Round Up Sunday"..Our church held this event to kickoff the beginning of their Fall sunday school semester..I think I said that right....

Anyway, below you will find a photo of my BIL...

BIL is trying to show some random little girl the "piggies" in a cage....

For some reason BIL lost his footing and came this close to falling face first into the Said "piggy cage"....

He caught the edge of the cage saving not only himself and the piggies, but the random little girl from getting serious cage injury...YAY BIL!!!
He is actually in the process of falling down in this picture...he and random girl had actually posed nicely 2 seconds before this happened and I just happened to catch the incident...yay me...

Moving on.

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This is my eldest, upon a noble steed...In here eyes anyway.

I almost did not get this pic, as I was wandering through the petting zoo I noticed she was missing....

Did she get eaten by an Alpaca? Kicked in the head by the donkey?

NOOOOO.

She took it upon herself to get in line for the pony rides WITHOUT ME!!

So I caught her coming around the back 40 with these two strangers smiling from ear to ear and looking like a real cowgirl....GIDDY UP!

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Finally here is my baby...this is about the third different cookie I saw her eating within a 15 minute timespan...

Did I mention that the cookies were bigger than her head??

So it was a fun day..all in all...everyone showed up to church in western wear and it was really fun...the kids also won lots of junk that they dont need, as usual.

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So im off in about 40 minutes here to have my colposcopy and biopsy done...not too excited about that..really nervous actually. Say a prayer for me..Please.

Till next time

Adios mi Amigos