Monday, September 17, 2007

Near Death Experience

For those readers, which are most of you....

I have a tale...'

A tale of a little man named Buster whom almost died on our 11th anniversary...


See, I wasnt going to tell it until he was comfortable with it...

And after tellling several o friends, im assuming now he is.....



As the Big Guy reads this from time to time....



I forgot to tell that we almost lost Buster on our Anniversary night.



Not shitting you;;;;at all!


I was doing dishes at my Dad and stepmoms place after our Anniversary dinner....


allbymyself


and I heard

"whout whut whut whut goooooo!"

coming from beyond my dads back steps.


I looked out and Buster was all bent over in a half fetal position, smiling but coughing.


Too many Marlboros??

Too much gravy???


NOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Buster was choking.


\
For real.


He took a hit of stepmommmas turkey (he swears its always dry) and was actually


CHOKING TO DEATH

I went out and began the only thing that HMM knew how to do...


I started windmill punching him in the back!!!

And yelled "dad dad busters choking please help for real"


Then good ole Jim came out Philly cigar and all dangling outta his mouth and said


"hicklick hicklick, hicklick manuever...havent done this in years so stand back!!"
with his little manstance and his houserobe on with the cigar ash 2miles long....he was gonna save Buster!

I kept swatting him in the back with allthe strenght I could muster. and by the time dad got there.

Buster was fine.

I saved his life by beating the piss out of him.

He knows it.

Dad knows it....

So now im wondering.....WTH did I do???

Do Ihave an obsession with dirty socks, Ice cream bowls and a snoring zombie at nite???


Your damn straigt I do, I love that man.

No matter how much poultry he chokes on, how many socks he leaves me or the turmoulous snoring...I took a vow with that man 11 years ago


Little did i know what i got myslelf into, but I did before God and everyone!!! HAllejulia!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

On a different note


My friends female dog continues to hump my male puppy...

Is she lesbian?

Is she "bi"

Is she just a dumb freaking bitch (i mean that in the female dog way)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Manager was yelling at Asst Manager today


thought she was kidding


then i realized she werent..

BEEYOTCH! u better not yelll at HMM the same way cuz I wont take that shit from no one especially for a min wage job

the first timeshe does will be the last...i swear

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

went to visit Baby Devins grave Saturday

me myself a beer and his aunt my goo d friend , we cried

theres not even a headstone yet

i reassured her that honey is in Heaven being well taken care of, and so happy

it just hurts to stand over his earthly remains

my religion does not believe in that

his little soul has gone off to heaven

and it was out of respect that we stood there that day in his memory

Love you Devin, see you again another day sweetpea

*******************************************************

tomorrow I have very exciting things to post about my surgery prep

dont want to get yall to excited


you gotta wait


it has to do with an enema and iodine wash...I know your jealous!!

10 comments:

JUST A MOM said...

ok go look i am off ot read your post now but I had to tell ya I follow directions...

JUST A MOM said...

Just drink that crap and get it over with.. it isn't that bad really,, boy close call on the hubs huh,, and yes it is very sad about the baby.

eyes_only4him said...

my mom once choked on a cucumber and had to call 911 herself, but since she was choking, she could not talk, she she was just hoping they would show up..

and they did.

Is the baby buried at Greenwood?..If it is, next time u go, stop by and see Dave for me..The Boy and I planted mums there before we left..

aatank said...

It is always important to know how to give a good ass beating. My hubby says if you can make a sound your not chokeing...I tell him he is full of crap.

I saw Devin Obituary...he was a beautiful baby.

What church do you go to?

Halfmexican Mama said...

Jaye...I dont have to drink anything, I get to give meself an enama...I cant wait :-(

FFG..yeah Buster couldnt talk either...my dad and i agreed that if I wasnt in the kitchen no one would have heard him wheezing outside, plus one of my whacks dislodged it..I saved his life for real.Devin is at Christian Memorial in Peck. There are nothing but babies in the section he is in very sad..

Alisha...not sure on the sound thing. All I know is it is a sound that ive never heard in my life..it was really weird. Yeah Devin was a cutie, I remember a few weeks ago he got into a mud puddle and everyone but me and Our Friend Tom let him play in it. I said he's just a kid and its only water, he wont get hurt, but his Dad and Aunt didnt like him getting wet..was probably the only puddle he ever got to play in so now im glad I let him go. We goto Emmanuel Baptist on Forester Rd.

Wendy aka Cheeky said...

Now you are HMM - Superhero!

Bella said...

That's an anniversary you won't soon forget. Glad everyones ok.

Monogram Queen said...

Wow so glad you saved Buster's life. Choking is one of my biggest fears.
Did they ever find out any more on what happened with baby Devin. May the little precious rest in peace.

Tee/Tracy said...

Wow - crazy story. I'm glad he was OK in the end.

Halfmexican Mama said...

Cheeky...Da da da da da da!!! now all I need is a cape, and a sombrero!!

Katie...it was priceless.

Patti...WELL the newspapers reported it strictly accidental, but I think they are just doing that to keep everyone quiet, according to the family they are still investigating, which I hope is the case.

Tee...Thanks!